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Kate dazzles crowds with vomit-stained hospital gown

fashion-kate1--z

The Duchess of Cambridge wowed the public today after appearing on the balcony of Buckingham Palace in a spectacular standard issue hospital gown, covered in blood, faeces and vomit.

“I love it,” commented Alexandra Shulman, editor of British Vogue. “What Kate’s saying is, ‘I’m not ashamed that I just gave birth – in fact, I’m going to flaunt it, right down to the exquisite mix of bodily fluids dripping down my front.’ Expect to see women queuing at maternity wards around the country to get their hands on this fab outfit.”

The recently-in-hospital look is now set to dominate this summer’s fashion scene, with Dolce & Gabbana unveiling a range inspired by car crashes featuring real debris embedded into models’ bodies, which has already been labelled ‘mortuary-chic’ by some fashion observers.

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