Hatred for MPs to rise by at least 11%

Ipsa have confirmed that they’re going to make MPs even more unpopular, because ‘lol’.

The Independent Parliamentary Standards Authority (Ipsa) has confirmed that they will be increasing the public’s hatred of MPs by 11% in 2015, because some independently regulated standards authorities just want to watch the world burn.

“We’ve heard all the arguments against this from MPs. We know they’ve told us not to approve this increase,” said Ipsa chief executive Joss Macarthy. “But we’ve had a long hard think, and we all agree it’d be pretty funny for us if they got hated even more than they already are. Which is a lot! God, I love this job.”

Some claim that unless MPs get hated more than at present, the profession might not attract cold, ruthless politicians who don’t care what the public thinks of them as long as they can remain in power.

“It may sound hard to believe, but hatred for MPs has actually been rising more slowly than average hate in the UK,” explained economist Joanna Bailey. “I know people probably think they shouldn’t be hated any more, as they’re already hated far above the national average, but in fact they’re long overdue a big increase in hate.”

“The fuckers,” she added.

Others disagreed. “I think this increase in hate is completely unnecessary, particularly at a time when there are so many other groups that deserved to be hated more,” said Trevor Monk from West Hampstead. “I just think we could be using our hate as a country so much better. What about all the vulnerable people in society, like immigrants and people on benefits?”

 

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