You guys, I have to say something: I’m a total nerd. I mean, look at me. I love maths and physics. I wear glasses. I wrote a best-selling book called A Brief History Of Time. I’m such a massive geek!
I know I might seem all outgoing and popular but really I’d prefer to be at home playing on my computer or writing fanfiction about the origins of universe and stuff. I don’t really like going out to parties or bars with other cool guys on campus. I just like losing myself in black holes, mathematical paradoxes and manga.
I mean, look at me. Look at these glasses! Only a nerd would wear these. They’re totally geeky but I don’t care, that’s just who I am. They have real lenses and everything so you know I’m not a faker. I’m such a complete nerd-a-tron that I talk to people using a computer with vocal software that I control using only my eyes.
Now that being a nerd is cool can anybody really claim to be a bigger nerd than me? I used to be the Lucasian Professor of Mathematics at Cambridge University. Cambridge! Nerd alert! You might have completed every Final Fantasy game ever released but have you ever started your own line of quantum theory research? Didn’t think so.
Memorising Simpsons quotes is pretty nerdy but I was in the Simpsons. And The Big Bang Theory! Benedict Cumberbatch played me in a biopic of my life. Stick that in your electric nerd pipe and pretend to smoke it.
To the young child being bullied in school for being a bit geeky or those who like to read more than might be cool I hope I can be an inspiration. You too will one day win the Albert Einstein Award and then people will accept you for what you are. I, Stephen Hawking, promise.