Recent graduate Alec Campbell was today continuing to ignore requests from Facebook to give a status update on his new job, telling friends it was “the only website that had ever really believed in him” and he “couldn’t face letting it down”.
A mournful Campbell commented “sometimes it’s just really difficult to tell those closest to us what’s really going on in our lives, especially when they’ve invested so much time and faith in our endeavours. I just couldn’t do it.”
“I was really proud of Alec when he was a student,” Facebook said. “He always kept me updated on his dreams for what he would do after graduating, and frequently uploaded photos of the fun he was having with his Uni friends. He’s just become so distant recently. Is it wrong to care?”
Google Plus told us it “couldn’t give a toss about Alec or his life chances, he has never been a fixture in my life. Thought I do want everyone to know he has been looking for porn a lot more than jobs recently.”
“I will love you whatever you do in life,” Facebook told Alec. “You shouldn’t feel any pressure to perform. But on the other hand it would be really good if you went to law school or thought about grad medicine.”