The literary world was buzzing today after Harper Lee announced she was “sick of waiting for George R. R. Martin to get his act together” and was going to finish the Song of Fire and Ice saga herself.
“That slow bastard was just taking so long to get to the point and give everybody what they needed,” the famed author of To Kill a Mockingbird said. “I thought I’d do everyone a favour and get it over with myself. There’s nothing I hate more than a writer not delivering for their fans.”
On being asked if she had the knowledge to draw conclusion to such a complex project she said, “I have the basic idea of what’s going to happen from watching the show and besides, everyone knows the formula by now: kill off at least two of the main characters, throw in some House of Cards-sounding shit so people think it’s intellectual, and pad out the rest with lots of boobs. How hard can it be?”
Fans of A Song of Ice and Fire are conflicted over the news. “On the one hand, I think it’s just wrong for her to finish someone else’s work,” commented avid reader Shelly Baker. “Especially when George has worked so hard on it. Then again, I just really need to know what happens.”
Followers of the hit HBO series Game of Thrones, on the other hand, appear not to care. “Yeah, I can’t be bothered to read the books,” commented Andy Rogers. “Who has the time to read a books series that’s like a bajillion pages long? As long as Harper Lee doesn’t go out of her way to spoiler the show I don’t really care.”
George R.R Martin has been refusing interviews and simply stated: “I’m bloody doing it, alright?!”