Racist people around the UK are reported to be ‘absolutely delighted’ that ISIS beheader Jihadi John is in fact named Mohammed.
“The way the papers called him John – it made him sound like, you know, a proper British person.” commented Jenny Pleydill, 27. “What a relief that he’s actually got one of those Muslim names. Makes me hate them all even more.”
“Go back to Somalighanistan or wherever you came from, yeah, fuck off,” she continued, pointing at a pigeon on a nearby bench.
“My nephew’s called John – could you ever imagine a cute blonde-haired kid like him chopping off someone’s head in the name of Allah? No, of course not. So I’m not at all surprised to find out that this monster is called Mustafa or whatever,” said Tom Kravis, 32, another outraged racist.
“You know what’s disgusting – the way people are saying he’s from West London,” added Kravis. “That’s a bit like saying Graham Norton is from Ireland, that dirty pervert. Don’t be ridiculous, we all know that’s not where he’s really from.”